It’s been a long year… I finally completed my PhD corrections in July of this year. For various pedestrian reasons, not limited to my own health frustrations, an eight-month examination process, supervisors on opposit ends of the world from where I was working, a recurrence of glandular fever, leaving me devoid of energy outside of work , followed by 5 or 6, other minor illnesses, including two bouts of Flue less than three months apart, due to the tanked immune system. No doubt, damaged by the stress of teaching two courses and working on my PhD simultaneously. As I submitted in July I will be graduating now on the 11th of December.

The PhD process has been a challenging but exhilarating period of growth for me. It has expanded my research capacity, deepened my understanding of the world around me, shifted my perspective on research art/architecture, and generally deepened my knowledge in a new field of thinking. I undertook further study to deepen and grow as a researcher and open up space to work into the future in my field and beyond, which I have most certainly achieved. Unlike many PhD Students, I have secured a permanent lecturing post, during my studies, teaching in the department where I studied my undergraduate, where I will continue to work in going forward, which is a huge honour and privilege. The post PhD space has brought an inordinate amount of additional administrative duties, not balanced by additional research time. If anything, the research time is more contained than before. This is saying something since I was allocated 4% research time as an academic to do my PhD work at one point in my studies.

Yes, I feel a sense of disquiet. That is most likely the Post PhD blues.

PhDblues1. To put it bluntly, the PhD is F*ng hard work; it exacts a toll on one’s mental health and character to see it to its completion and convince an examiner that it is worthy of being awarded the degree. Upon completion of said degree, it isn’t very reassuring if that effort and work is barely acknowledged within the university or outside. This may very well be a case of, home ground dismissal. Or just the fact that, in conducting a PhD you have gone on an extended and life-changing journey. While those around you may well still regard you in the same person you were seven years before. This is a challenging and jarring reality to adjust to and requires care.

PhDbues2. Moving Promotional Goal posts: The PhD is not an automatic ticket to promotion or research opportunities. The Faculty in which I teach falls under the Faculty of Engineering, Which seems hell-bent on conducting some kind of academic arms race for promotion, making any kind of promotion virtually impossible to achieve outside of engineering. The bar was placed so impossibly out of reach for departments outside of engineering that many people have simply stopped trying or rather chosen to leave. Given that, the staffing budgets have been increasingly slashed, leading to many staff working well beyond the hours they are paid; with research shoved into the corner of time or the existing final weeks of semesters, the whole project seems fraught. I acknowledge that this is a global issue and not limited to the department or country, even the country where I live. The fact that the academic project seems threatened globally doesn’t make it easier to deal with. in my darker moments, I wonder if it has not been intentionally placed under threat to keep the voting public dumb, distracted, and more likely to vote in dictators.

#PhDblues3. Getting back to ‘normal’ life: The time after a PhD ends is, is of course, a moment for breathing in, a time to reflect and plan new projects. But also usually time, for open weekends and evenings. I have mostly been asleep by 9 pm and napping on weekends for six months, and it has not made a dent in my exhaustion levels. I feel as depleted and spent as I did six months ago. The books I planned to read post-PhD remain unread, and the project planned is unfinished or unstarted. There is a sense that PhD work if done well, is a space for setting up sustainable academic career-building habits to sustain writing and research into the future. I am a mid-career academic with a good 20 years left in my career. Normal doesn’t exist anymore, and a new normal must be forged. It is with dread that I contemplate the current exhaustion levels may persist for the remained of my career.

In comparison to the PhD period, there are more free weekends. Nonetheless, daily workload demands will mean sustainable workloads must be a hard-fought battleground. Getting back to the tedium of 9-5 work, administrative duties, lecturing, marking, and the daily grind of being a person whose job is essentially making sure others succeed Is soul-crushing after the PhD work and depth of Ph.D. work.

You may experience none or all of these trials in your post-PhD life. Whatever the case.

In short, the PhD is about personal fulfilment and growth; anything else is a bonus.

I wish you a restful year-end break to those in the global south and fresh new research ideas and opportunities in the new year.

Brigs